DIY project: Tsolmo’s New Bed

Now you are almost 19 months old and it was time for a new bed. In your baby bed, you ripped off the mosquito net and everything you can reach from there. Also, you often throw your animals out (intentionally or not) and cry when you can’t get them back. Therefore, I decided to build a new bed for you that satisfies all our needs, especially yours. In general, there are several reasons for choosing to build a DIY bed over buying a bed: When the room fashion requires a customised bed (in terms of size, shape, etc.), when the main idea is to design the bed with a certain theme (like “Knights’ Castle”, “Pirate ship”, or something like that), or simply when one loves to do DIY. In this case, it is mainly the latter reason. As your father, one way to express my love for you and my concern about your life quality is to manifest my creativity and crafts skills in a unique item that is just for you! What could be better than your own special bed with features that you like?! However, also the former two reasons play a role here: In the corner in which the bed would be placed it covers part of a window, which requires a special construction, and I thought of some features that are important, necessary, or at least “cool” for you. These were the criteria that played a role in my planning of the bed:

  • Stability – Above all, the bed must be stable, indestructible, not shaking, without any parts that can be broken off or easily disassembled. I expect that you will romp a lot in your bed, so it must be able to withstand your intended and unintended violence!
  • Safety – There must be no corners, sharp edges, protruding screws or nails, rough wood, or anything that threatens your freedom from pain. The chance of accidents and injuries in and around the bed should be as close to zero as possible!
  • Mosquito-proof – There are many mosquitoes and other bugs in Taiwan. You should be safe from them while sleeping!
  • Confinement – You are still not able to decide for yourself when it is time to sleep. You need a place from which you can’t escape, or you constantly would! This has nothing to do with imprisonment, but is a normal measure for toddlers that makes your life and that of your parents much easier!
  • Storage space – Our apartment is not very big, but we need more and more storage space for the growing demands of the family. I want to make the “dead space” under the bed accessible.
  • Appealing design – This is a Kid’s bed! It must be colourful and attractive! Moreover, since you showed to us that you like decorative and effective lighting a lot, I want to integrate fancy and child-suitable lamps.
  • Flexibility – While growing up you will change your interests and demands. Sooner or later we can detach the door, for example, or you will ask us to change the colour. Maybe we can even add a “second floor” playground. It will be good if we could change some elements easily then!

From this list it may be concluded that the new bed must be completely closed on all sides (because of the mosquito prevention). I chose to design a house- or hut-like bed. Since it will stand in a corner, only two “walls” have to be built (lattices with black mosquito net). Six main posts (4 in the corners, 2 in the middle of the long sides) will carry the “roof”. We already had a mattress (188x100cm) with a simple bed (bottom part and head storage) as well as fence parts of your playpen. This served as starting material and as orientation for the overall size of the bed. In order to make the bed more comfortable, I thought of covering the edges with cushions. For those, we ordered cold-cure foam (4cm thick) online and got a beautiful flower-design fabric from IKEA. Your Mom organised a sewing machine and helped sewing the cushion covers that were then attached with the foam pieces onto boards and then to the bed scaffold.

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Here is the base construction with the six posts and the side cushions (the door element still missing):

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In the photo, you can also see one of the challenges of the project: There is a window behind half of the bed. In order to block your access to it from inside the bed, and to be able to maintain the curtain of the window properly, I built a board shield that leaves 7cm space between window and bed whereas on the left side the bed finishes with the wall. Of course, this protruding part also had to be covered with a cushion. The three posts on the left side are fixed on the wall with screws. The front of the bed is the head part of the bed we had. On the right long side, I attached boards that leave space for two large drawers on the floor under the bed. The most important tools I used were a jigsaw for preparing the various wood parts, and a cordless electric drill for assembling. Sawing and painting the wood was difficult but not impossible in the narrow space of the entrance area of our apartment…

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I painted the base frame of the bed in red (except the playpen elements) and the scaffold of the roof in blue. My original idea to also paint the inside roof boards blue was dropped after finding that it looks better with the original bright colour of the boards. For the inside lighting, I attached a 5m LED strip on top of narrow boards around the roof edge so that it illuminates the roof’s inside while itself invisible for you. This indirect yellowish light creates a warm and gentle atmosphere. Moreover, I put glow-in-the-dark stickers (stars and moons) all over the bed’s ceiling. One of the storage drawers is now a small ball pool for you to play in.

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So far you accepted the new bed very well! You obviously like the light and the glow-in-the-dark stars, you are happy to be surrounded by all your toy animals, you jump and romp around, and – most important of all – you sleep very well (from evening to morning without interruption)! Before you fall asleep and after you wake up, you don’t cry or complain but play with the toys and enjoy the big space that you have inside the bed. I hope you will have much joy and good rests for many years in this bed!

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Parenting Check: Supporting Your Self-Esteem

I came across a few illustrations by Leonid Khan on brightside.me which compare “common parents” with “wise parents”. The page originally presented the 10 graphics as the difference between Jewish parents and other parents, which is of course entire nonsense and earned them much criticism (upon which they changed it to the new wording). Whether parents are “common” or bad or wise is not a matter of nationality, culture, ethnicity or religious confession! Rather, we find all kinds of parents with all kinds of attitudes and flaws all around the globe. In today’s letter, however, I don’t want to compare parents. I tried to take the illustrations as an inspiration to check my own behaviour and attitude towards you in our daily life. Since currently I am a houseman and we spend a lot of time together, there are many situations and opportunities to reflect on my (re-)actions and habits. Some of the themes probably don’t apply to you, yet, because you are still too young. But reflection can never start too early! I’ll try to do it reasonably!

  1. Reaction to failure

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You are still at the stage of trying many things. Naturally, there is a lot of failure! You want to draw, but hold the pen the wrong way and don’t produce any line. You want to eat by yourself, but whenever you scoop your food, it falls down before reaching your mouth. You want to stack blocks or do a puzzle, but the parts just don’t want to fit! In case of the food, I still help you and usually end up just feeding you. The rationale behind that is a pragmatic one: If eating takes too long you get impatient and whiny, and I don’t want to clean the huge mess that you produce. Maybe that’s wrong. I should just let you do until it works. In case of drawing and puzzling, I try to aid you more passively and let you figure out by yourself how you can make it work. However, this also has limits. You get increasingly frustrated when the piece doesn’t fit. Guiding your hand, hopefully, delivers the message “See! There is always a way! Just keep trying, for example like this…”. I observe that you are a fast learner, trying to copy what I do (for example, turning and twisting the puzzle piece until it fits). So, a little assistance can support your exploratory learning process. I have to be careful, though, not to be too impatient when you don’t succeed in your efforts immediately, but let you experience the feeling of failure and the sense of achievement after keeping trying. You are not too young for anything! Just not experienced enough. Providing situations to gain this experience is my task as your father!

  1. Supervising your activities

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The point, here, is that you feel more trusted when we let you do things without constant supervision. As in all the eight examples in this article, the pragmatic considerations we as parents have to make are risk and safety estimations. There is never no risk! You can always trip, fall down, hit your head, bump into something, etc. We keep the really dangerous things (electricity, fire, blades, falling heavy objects, etc.) away from you. In this environment, we can let you move freely and safely everywhere in our apartment without having to worry about anything that exceeds the “base risks”. When you find trash (and with your perfect eyesight you find the tiniest pieces of dust in the corners!) and show it to me, I tell you to throw it into the trash bin, and you go there and throw it in. I trust you on that and don’t watch you doing it. You come back with a proud face and clap your hands, me joining in. On the playground, you climb the play structures and slide down all by yourself. I usually stand in some distance and let you enjoy it without giving you the feeling that something could go wrong and that you would need assistance. Just do it! You seem cautious, but not fearful or afraid, and you are always happy when you find out that you can do something by yourself!

  1. Letting you get dirty

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I failed on this one this week. When we played in the garden of our community, I scolded you for picking the soil from the flowerbeds and for being more interested in all the dirt than in the play structure and the toys. You still put many things into your mouth, so I worry you eat the dirt you pick up. I am still too concerned about your health (not so much about the cleanness of your clothes and hands). I should let you play more in the mud, especially when we are close to home where we can clean you again! I spent most of my childhood in the mud (in the countryside), so I should know how happy it can make a Kid! Relax, Daddy!

  1. Your intended achievement vs. The actual outcome

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The point, here, is different from the previous illustration: It is not so much about fun over cleanness, but more about intention over outcome. At this young age, you have (maybe not yet, but soon) an undisturbed, untamed creativity and the urge to explore and transform the world you find. Making a cake, as in the graphic, is just one example. Painting something, building something, helping with housework, anything that you observe your parents do – could be other examples. Your intentions are always good: You want to make a gift for your beloved parents, or you just want to do something well. Naturally, at the age of 18 months, there is not much you do, yet, so there are not many situations in which the approaches illustrated here would apply. As mentioned earlier, you like to throw trash into the trash bin. Sometimes, however, you classify things as “trash” that actually are not. Once I told you emphatically that you must not put that into the trash, but of course that has no effect! You will just not understand why throwing away one thing gives you a praise, throwing away another earns you a scold. You firmly believe you did a good job. So I reminded myself of always thanking you whenever you did something out of your own motivation that you learned in earlier situations, no matter how “wrong” it is in this context, no matter how poor the result is, and no matter how much work it causes me to reverse the result of your effort.

  1. Your energy level

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You sleep very well and, as an effect, are very active and attentive when awake. You run around a lot, climb everything that can be climbed (recently also the dining table) and often jump around like crazy. Sometimes I find myself trying to calm you down or stop you from jumping too wild on the couch. I shouldn’t! However, again, I think there is the reasonable pragmatic limit of safety! And a second consideration is the experience with the phenomenon of you being “over-tired” (I wonder if there is a proper term for that): Sometimes you are so tired that you get carefree and coltish, like in a state of euphoria, extremely rebellious and – with a 100% certainty – ending up crying, either after hurting yourself, or when we have to stop you and put you into bed. In such a state, it would be very unwise to wait for you running out of energy! Most of the time, however, it is a big joy for us to watch your energy and untamed vitality! Why would we stop you?

  1. Do it by yourself

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As far as I understand, the idea of this picture is not “You can do it by yourself!”, but rather “You have to do it by yourself!”. It wants to deliver the idea that Kids must not always rely on their parents fixing everything for them, but learning that sometimes (and according to their abilities, of course) they need to get active by themselves. For a Kid of your age, there are not many situations, yet, in which this approach applies. All I can think of now is eating your food (insisting on you eating by yourself when you ask for being fed), playing with your toys (including opening boxes and bags, stacking blocks, solving puzzles, etc.), and climbing stairs or play structures (which you usually ask no assistance for). In the future, there will be more situations in which I hopefully remember to find the right balance between helping you (to not disappoint and frustrate you) and insisting on you doing it by yourself (even at the risk of failure, see point 1). So far, you want to be independent rather a bit too much than not enough. You are far from being a “lazy” Kid!

  1. Support your sharing ability

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In contrast to the other seven illustrations that all show a particular attitude of parenting that aim at certain effects, this one here depicts a result (or an effect). It is, of course, desirable to support the formation of a habit of sharing, rather than having to be forced to share. The question is what parenting approaches and attitudes can support that. Apparently, you have a good sense of sharing. When I cut a Mango for you and give a small fork to you, you take turns putting a piece into your mouth and feeding one to me. You also do that with your main meals. You are very happy offering your food to us, which might be an expression of copying our behaviour (feeding you) in a playful way, rather than a truly virtuous act of sharing. However, our reaction (appreciation and expression of happiness and fun) will hopefully motivate you to form a habit of sharing. When someday you have a sibling we’ll come back to that…

  1. Reward your efforts

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This is a very important point! I appreciate the illustrator’s choice to present the “bad” Mom with her attention focused on her smartphone, a serious symptom of our modern society. I try to leave my phone at my work desk, so that it doesn’t distract me whenever I deal with you, especially while feeding and playing with you. This gives me the capacity to really “spend time with you” (instead of just being around). I hope you can sense my appreciation of and admiration for everything you do! Same as for point 4, you don’t produce much that can be rewarded or praised. I posted some of your “drawings” on this blog, and the Mother’s Day gift that we prepared together is exposed on the fridge door so that all visitors can see it. I am sure that in the future you will give me many opportunities to show my pride and admiration for anything you do! I expect that this won’t be difficult for me!

Conclusion

All (human) life and its decision-making is risk estimation. As parents, we have to reflect day in day out on questions like “Is it OK for you or not? Is it safe or not? Is the risk level acceptable or not?”. In this framework, your self-esteem and your own ability to assess the acceptability of risk levels to which you expose yourself have to develop. Finding the right balance within this tension of “letting you do” and “keeping you safe” is not always easy. I tend to be too cautious in some situations (stopping your wildness, keeping you clean when playing outside), and I am convinced to do it right in others (not creating an atmosphere of caution when you climb the play structure, but letting you explore it by yourself). The most critical phase for most of these attitudes is yet to come, at a time when your abilities are more manifold and your urges to do something creative and effective will have grown. I hope I can establish a mindful awareness for the effects of my own habits and behaviours that trigger the formation of certain traits in you – one of them being a healthy self-esteem. Then we will see if Mrs. Khan’s illustrations prove helpful as an inspiration for self-reflection!

DIY – Removable shelf board

We have a diaper changing station that is foldable:

Wickelstation

Recently, we found that the table is too full and too messy and that it would be handy to have a small board nearby for all the stuff we need around the table, like creams and wet cloths and diapers. However, when installing a fixed board, the table can’t be folded anymore, unless we attach the board high above the table, but then it is not handy… The solution could be a shelf that can easily be detached from its holder and put back. Once, I had a board like that: A cute little mole on the wall “holding” a board. Inspired by that, I decided to make a “mouse board” that also looks decorative in a child’s room. The mouse design was easier to realise with the technical facilities that I have.

Every DIY project should start with drawings. This helps getting clearer about the steps and the material needed for construction. It will reveal the weak points of the idea and ways to improve the plan. It results in a list of parts that have to be produced, items that have to be bought, and devices that have to be employed. For the mouse board, I need:

  • 1 central body as the actual board holder which is attached to the wall in the end
  • 1 head and 1 leg part as “mouse” decoration
  • 4 additional parts (“arms”) to support the board
  • 1 tail
  • 1 shelf board, 60x25cm
  • 6 screws 2.5cm, 2 screws >4cm, 2 dowels
  • jigsaw, impact drill, cordless electric drill
  • paint and brushes
  • a few bristles from a broom
  • felt stickers (those that are usually put under the legs of chairs and tables)

The only thing I had to buy was the 60x25cm shelf board. The other parts I could saw from remains that I kept from earlier DIY projects (Never throw anything away! You never know when you are happy that you still have it!). I cut paper models of the mouse parts, drew the shapes onto the wood and cut it with the jigsaw. I also made the corners of the shelf board round (for safety reasons).

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Next, I assembled the mouse: The head with a screw from the back to the top part of the body; the legs with a screw from the back to the bottom with the tail in between; the smaller half circles as top support and the bigger half circles as bottom support (with screws from the side) so that they form a gap that is about 3mm wider than the thickness of the shelf board. I also drilled small holes through the two narrowest parts of the body (the “throat” and the “back” in the gap). The holder will be attached to the wall with screws through these holes. I marked the respective spots on the wall, drilled holes into it and plugged the dowels in.

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Before attaching the mouse on the wall, I painted it. I didn’t do that very professionally or with special wood paint or lacquer. I used cheap “poster paint” that I still had from an earlier art project. I think, that is not the best choice, but the mouse looks like a mouse at least.

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After the paint was dry, I attached the felt stickers in the gap on the supporters and the broom bristles in small holes (made with a corkboard pin) on the nose. Then, it was ready to be attached on the wall. The diaper changing table is still foldable when the shelf board is not in the holder. With the felt stickers, it is firmly attached in the holder and doesn’t move easily so that things can be stored on it safely. I am happy with the result!

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Four Levels of Truth

When reading Buddhist scriptures, especially those sutras that directly cite the historical Gautama Buddha, it can be confusing that there are often obvious contradictions and statements that downright oppose each other. Besides a few obvious mistakes that were made by ancient translators and later scholars, the majority of those result from Buddha’s conviction that it is necessary to adapt the teaching to the recipients’ capability of understanding. In this sense, a doctrine is true as long as it is appropriate to serve as a suitable means to the noble end of guiding people towards the right or the good (understanding, action, behaviour, insight, etc.). This argument was promoted in the most sophisticated manner in the later Chinese Buddhist school known as Tiantai (天台). The founder of this school, Zhi-Yi (智顗), divides all Buddhist treatises and sutras into four kinds (his famous “Fourfold Teachings”, 四教):

  • The Tripitaka Teachings (藏教): The Theravada teaching that renounces the experiential world, meant for people who have little intelligence and low ambition. Its truth is that the world is empty in the sense of being illusions. The path to Nirvana is the renunciation of the world of suffering.
  • The Common Teaching (通教): Shared by both Theravada and Mahayana schools, this teaching for people who can understand the truth of emptiness and recognise that dharmas have no real self-subsisting nature is still about emptiness, but with the notion that it means nothing other than dependent co-arising. It doesn’t necessarily advocate exiting the mundane world to reach Nirvana.
  • The Special Teaching (別教): A Mahayana teaching for people with compassion for other sentient beings. It preaches the Bodhisattva goal of attainment, based on the understanding of the Buddha-nature and the Middle Way (often referred to as the ultimate truth).
  • The Perfect Teaching (圓教): The teaching of the ultimate reality which is the Middle Way itself. It identifies Nirvana with the phenomenal world: One does not need to leave the phenomenal world to enter Nirvana. Under this teaching – in contrast to the Special Teaching – afflictions and attachments are not necessarily bad. One can gain enlightenment even in the midst of afflictions. One only needs to attain perfect wisdom with all that it entails (inner harmony, loving-kindness, pure awareness of dharmas, etc.).

I guess we can summarise it like this: The first approach is based on experiences and teaches rules on how to deal with those experiences. The second grounds on factual knowledge and teaches strategies on what to do with that knowledge. The third focuses on values and teaches virtues that preserve and cultivate those values. The fourth refers to wisdom and teaches how to attain a mindset in which perfect wisdom can flourish.

Obviously, there is a form of hierarchy in this list concerning the mental capacity of sentient beings. I don’t want to limit it to humans, since we can include animals in our reflections, as we will see. First, I think it is possible to link the teaching approaches to the different phases of development within the lifespan of one person. Second, we may group different members of society according to which kind of teaching they are best confronted with. In the first sense, I think of my ways of dealing with you (Tsolmo) as a father through the years:

Now, while you are little and without much knowledge, I will tell you rules and orders, like “Don’t touch the fire!” or “Don’t stick nails into the power sockets!”. It would be useless to explain to you that fire is the exothermic reaction of oxygen with anything organic (including your skin and the tissue underneath) and that the feeling of pain is a signal transduction of your nerve cells that triggers certain brain activities, manifesting in your consciousness as an unpleasant feeling, or that electricity is the result of a charge gradient along a conducive material like metal wires or your body (in which it causes pain, see above)… Your world at this stage is that of experience, so I guide you in your way of making experiences, keeping more serious dangers away from you.

Then you will acquire more and more knowledge about the mechanisms of this world, and simple rules and orders will not satisfy your insatiable curiosity about the Hows and Whys. You will learn a lot at school, but also at home. THIS is what happens when you expose your body to heat. THIS is what happens in a flow of charges. And THAT’s WHY you shouldn’t touch it. In this phase, however, you will sometimes learn “wrong” things in the sense of oversimplifications and half-truths. In primary school you might learn that electricity is a “flow of electrons”, but when you study physics or chemistry at university you will find out that it is not entirely “correct” to put it that way. The knowledge in this stage will help you to acquire technical skills: You will know how to switch on the gas stove and how to plug devices into the power sockets. However, you might need supervision, because you might underestimate the risks and expose yourself (and others, eventually) to dangers.

The next stage is the alignment of your choices and decisions with values and preferences: You need orientational knowledge to answer questions like “Why would I want this or that?” and “Why ought I to do this or that or maybe better not?” and “What kind of knowledge shall I look for in order to aid my decision-making?“. With this capacity you will also be able to relate your own interests to those of others and to mediate empathically in case of conflicts and dilemmas. Factual knowledge of the world won’t help in these cases, but only normative-ethical knowledge and prescriptive and evaluative modes of thinking (with subsequent action). Here you become a responsible person, so that I can stop being concerned about the risk of fire and electricity, because you will know how to deal with it properly. There is no more need to keep you away from the gas stove, because you will be skilled AND mindful enough to use it for your benefit without being in danger of its potential harms. You will be able to evaluate the outcome of your decisions, balance risks and benefits and even include the people around you in your reflections. I can trust you!

Finally, you might reach a level of wisdom. Here, it is not anymore about fire and electricity and their risks, but about the question “Why would I use gas stoves or electronic devices at all? Isn’t there an alternative?”. You let fire be fire, electricity be electricity and yourself be… well… what?… YOU. The point is not a nihilistic “Nothing really matters.”, but a visionary and clear-minded “This is how things are, and I see it!”. You see the larger picture of mundane and phenomenal conditionality and karmic interrelations. You will have inner peace and strength, resulting in a balanced mind. Yes, you will still burn yourself accidentally or make the fuse blow by improper handling of an electric device. But flawless perfection of worldly matters is not a goal anymore! The goal is: Seeing things as they are and approaching them with an unshakable clarity and momentariness. I have nothing to tell you in that stage.

The second way to interpret the Fourfold Teachings, as I mentioned, is a societal classification of mental capability. First, there are those who are ignorant. I say that without any judgment or offense. However, we need to separate two kinds of ignorant minds: Those who can’t be claimed to know it better, and those who can. Among the first are animals, small children, mentally disabled, comatose or in any other way unconscious or mindless patients, and those who have no access to proper education or even a “normal” way of life (for example, children that grow up in war zones). We simply wouldn’t expect children, dogs, people with down syndrome or Alzheimer patients to always know what is the right thing to do, so we decide for them in a paternalistic way (restrict them from access to certain things and areas, put them on a chain (I mean, the dogs!), or give them clear rules that are for the best of them). Among the second are people with a lack of intellect and with a high degree of narrow-mindedness. Now, the opinions might deviate strongly on who that typically is. My image of “common people” is rather bad, so I would put many (MANY) people into this group. Most of all, there are all the scumbags like racists, fascists, supremacists, haters, priggish and egocentric fools, but also many religious people (used to follow doctrines and dogmatic orders rather than questioning anything), mindless consumers (of all kinds of things), people with high susceptibility to addictions, emotionally incompetent people (bad-tempered, labile, or inappropriately overconfident). They all have one thing in common: They don’t know (or: are not aware of) something important (either worldly facts, or emotional self-management, or how to control themselves). It would take great effort to teach them knowledge (especially when they are adults), not to mention values or wisdom. Their picture (as in “the larger picture”) is so small that the only things that can keep them on track towards a more or less meaningful and fulfilled life are clear rules and guidelines. These are provided in the form of laws by the legal system these people live in, in the form of cultural, traditional and religious value- and belief-systems and their established ways of social sanctioning, or in the form of institutions and clubs with shallow messages and philosophies (like churches, gyms, meditation circles, WeightWatchers, Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.). Again: There is nothing to blame, here! The only question is: What kind of approach is of any help or benefit for the people?

Then there are people who choose the way of (factual) knowledge as the best path towards a good life (whatever that means). Today, the access to such knowledge is better than ever! You don’t need to go to the library and spend hours there, anymore, but can look for and get all the knowledge you want almost everywhere with your mobile communication device. Most people know that it is not a punishment by a god when the room is suddenly in darkness, but a broken light bulb or a blown fuse – and they know how to fix it by themselves! They also know that racism has no scientific foundation, that addiction arises from certain psychological mechanism, that emotions can be managed, and that consumption of mass-produced goods (including cosmetics, smartphones, meat, and TV program) most likely has unethical implications like environmental destruction or mental decay. This knowledge increases the quality of your decision-making (but not necessarily that of each and every of your decisions!). So, what helps you to increase your quality of life? More knowledge!

Also this approach has its limits. As pointed out in other letters, factual and procedural knowledge about the world is not able to tell us what to do. This requires orientational knowledge: values, norms, goods. When realising that, your life is good when you are convinced that you made the right choice, in contrast to a correct choice as in the former strategy. Your decisions should, in this sense, be informed by possible consequences of them for you and for others. You see how orientational knowledge adds up to factual knowledge: In order to foresee consequences and implications of certain decisions and actions you will need particular factual knowledge (for example, of physics, of social mechanisms, of psychological interrelations, of values in a descriptive sense), so that you know what you need to apply your normative evaluations to. People that belong to this group – those who reflect on the question “How do I know what something is good for?” before making a decision – tend to be more altruistic, but also more hesitant and sometimes insecure, because it is always possible to make the wrong choice (which is a bad choice).

This problem is none among the very few people (if any at all) in the fourth group: Those with the farsighted wisdom similar to that of Gautama Buddha (possibly). I certainly don’t claim to be one of them! Therefore, I am actually not able to write anything here, because I (probably) didn’t really get what it means. However, let me try to explain my understanding of it: A wise person understands that it is pointless (because impossible) and unnecessary (because overambitious) to try to live a perfect and flawless life. We will never be capable of foreseeing all karmic effects of our actions, neither the physical ones (as if we were able to predict the exact position of every billiard ball on a table after knowing all the data of how the queue hits the white one) nor the personal ones (one’s position in the society, friend networks, impact of one’s actions and words on others and their subsequent actions and words, etc.). Trying to optimise our decision-making in terms of these factors has an obvious cognitive limit. Wisdom doesn’t mean to always do the right thing, but to figure out what is the best choice among given options in this moment (the moment of choosing). An important precondition for this state of mind is a complete freedom from attachments (including self-attachment) and mindless craving. A selfish choice, then, is per se not a wise choice. Pure wisdom concerning the ultimate reality leaves the self-perspective entirely and sees the world as a conditional network of karma that seeks harmonious equilibrium. Good, then, is what supports this larger scale harmony, which might often not be the direct personal benefit. There is no wrong or bad decision in this stage, because you will understand that the world is a dynamic momentary manifestation of karmic conditions and that your only choice is to take this moment to make a decision. If that is good or bad, right or wrong – who will ever know? However, a high degree of mindfulness and awareness of this moment will increase the chance that your decision will have more sustainable long-term effects on the quality of your life. All the rest (desires, interests, concerns, worries, fears, confidence, (in)security, etc.): Let it go!

This table summarises the reflections on the four levels of teaching (entirely debatable!):

Teaching Knowledge type Lifespan stage Societal group
Rules Experience Child Ignorant
Strategies/Skills Factual Teen/Adolescent Educated
Virtues Orientational/
evaluative
Adult Mindful
Clear Mind Vision/Wisdom Senior Wise/Enlightened

Once more, it (hopefully) became obvious why I don’t like the term truth. Certainly, there is no absolute truth. Statements can only be true in a defined set of conditions under which communicators can agree that its content resembles a certain form of truth, for example a semantic truth, a linguistic truth, a logic truth, a historical truth, etc. Here, in this letter, I wanted to show that the notion of truth necessarily needs a pragmatic component: Truth as expedient means to an end needs to be viable in a given context, enabling people with different capacities and intelligences to gain true enlightenment (at least an insight on how to live their lives well). It is not what a statement says, but what it does (that is, what it accomplishes), that makes the statement true.

buddhathink

Recipe: Avocado-Banana-Choco-Mousse

So far, I haven’t been a big fan of avocado. I was happy, though, when a friend brought self-grown avocados a few days ago, because I heard that they are good and healthy for toddlers. It turned out, however, that you (Tsolmo) don’t like them very much. Therefore, I looked for inspirations on how to enhance the flavour and make something delicious from it. I found several hints like these:

  • Add lemon or lime juice, also to keep the flesh green and fresh!
  • Combine with other sweet fruits like mango or banana!
  • Sweeten it with syrup!
  • Combine with coconut (oil, crème, milk, or shredded)

Fortunately, I had several ingredients in the fridge that perfectly added up to a delicious dessert-like dish. It is easy to make and took me about 10 minutes only. Imitation strongly recommended!

Ingredients:

Bottom layer:

  • 40g shredded coconut
  • 20g maple syrup
  • 10g cocoa powder (for baking, not the one for preparing milk drinks)

Mousse:

  • 2 ripe avocados
  • 1-2 ripe bananas
  • 40g maple or rice syrup
  • 20-30g (2 spoons) coconut oil
  • a few drops of freshly squeezed lemon or lime juice
  • 10g cocoa powder

Avocadodessert1

Procedure:

Mix shredded coconut with maple syrup and cocoa powder. Keep 1/3 of it aside for decorating the top. Distribute the rest into 4 glass cups (we don’t want to miss the visual effect, right?), press it slightly down to cover the bottom.

Peel and cut bananas and avocados, add syrup, coconut oil and lemon juice, and blend the mix to get a homogenous greenish mousse. Distribute half of it into the glasses. Add the cocoa powder to the remaining and blend again shortly to get a brown mass. Distribute this into the glasses as a third layer. Finally, put the remaining coconut flakes on top. Put the glasses into the fridge for at least one hour before serving. Here comes the point: Avocado is fatty enough (around 14% fat, one of the fattiest “fruits” around), so why still adding coconut oil? Cooling it down makes the coconut oil solidify, so that the dessert becomes more “moussy”. You may eat it right away without cooling, but then the consistency is more like that of pudding. No matter how: Enjoy it!

Avocadodessert2

Final remark: I am not sure, actually, if this is proper food for an 18-months-old! All ingredients (except the shredded coconut) were fresh and organic. It is neither too sweet nor too greasy. The flavours of banana and cocoa dominate, with a slight trace of coconut. As long as you don’t eat too much of it, it should be OK!

Magnificent

Look, Tsolmo, Guy Garvey of Elbow wrote a song about you!

Well… of course, he had something personal in mind, and who knows what that is. But that first verse and the chorus (not so much the second verse, though) really touch me!

This is where, this is where the bottle lands
Where all the biggest questions meet
With little feet stood in the sand

This is where the echoes swell to nothing on the tide
And where a tiny pair of hands
Finds a sea-worn piece of glass
And sets it as a sapphire in her mind

And there she stands
Throwing both her arms around the world
The world that doesn’t even know
How much it needs this little girl

It’s all gonna be magnificent, she says
It’s all gonna be magnificent

You have to know that my grandparents – your greatgrandparents – live near Hamburg at the river Elbe which is so wide there that it has beaches. As a child, I played there for many hours, watching the ships entering and leaving the harbour of Hamburg, so amazed and overwhelmed by the huge carriers and cargo vessels that I threw myself into the sand. I found stones and sometimes little shells, trash and all kinds of items washed onto the shore by the waves. This image and the memories of the great times I had there all come up when listening to this song. This jaunty happiness, dreaming of a cruise on one of those ships, fighting pirates, discovering treasures full of gemstones… and imagining, almost hoping, that those colourful sea-worn pieces of glass actually ARE gemstones! So, now, I see you standing on that beach, carefree, playing with an empty bottle, and all your thoughts circle around is whether it is possible to stop the waves from rolling in by smashing them with this bottle (“where all the biggest questions meet”). No job, no homework (yet), no bills, no complicated relationships, just this small world full of curiosity and an untamable urge to discover. And your mind will be imaginative and creative, with a blue round piece of glass just as precious as a sapphire. And in this natural state of joy, you want to hug the world that is so great and beautiful and good! It’s all gonna be magnificent! Try to keep this light-hearted optimism as long as you can! How much the world needs you, I can tell! This bundle of love and joy that you are! And if not “the world”, then at least “my world”… Only complete WITH you! I love you, Tsolmo!

seaglass